Obama Pays Billions For Donald Trump

Obama Pays Mexico 5 Billion Dollars to Hold Donald Trump

U.S. President Barack Obama signs two bills, S. 2328: Puerto Rico Oversight, Management, and Economic Stability Act and S. 337: FOIA Improvement Act of 2016, in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, D.C., U.S., on Thursday, June 30, 2016. Obama signed the bipartisan legislation that creates a financial control board to help restructure Puerto Ricos $70 billion in debt and oversee the islands finances, marking the largest federal intervention ever into the U.S. municipal bond market. Photographer: T.J. Kirkpatrick/Bloomberg via Getty Images
U.S. President Barack Obama signs two bills, S. 2328: Puerto Rico Oversight, Management, and Economic Stability Act and S. 337: FOIA Improvement Act of 2016, in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, D.C., U.S., on Thursday, June 30, 2016. Obama signed the bipartisan legislation that creates a financial control board to help restructure Puerto Ricos $70 billion in debt and oversee the islands finances, marking the largest federal intervention ever into the U.S. municipal bond market. Photographer: T.J. Kirkpatrick/Bloomberg via Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Barack Obama defended his decision on Wednesday to issue a payment of five billion dollars to Mexico to compel that nation to retain custody of Donald J. Trump.

The payment, which shall be delivered to the Mexican authorities in laborious American forex by Wednesday afternoon, will insure that Trump will stay in Mexico for the remainder of his natural life.

“I’ve been assured by the federal government of Mexico that Mr. Trump will likely be properly taken care of and, if he proves to be a productive member of their society, can be offered a pathway to Mexican citizenship,” Obama said.

Whereas the switch of funds to Mexico sparked howls of protest from some Trump supporters, it was hailed by congressional Democrats, in addition to by over 100 Republicans at present working for reëlection, together with Arizona Senator John McCain.

The President bristled on the suggestion that paying Mexico to maintain Trump was “reverse ransom” and an extravagant use of taxpayer cash. “There is just one correct phrase for this cost: a discount,” he said.

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